Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
Hello Officers/Paramedics, judging by last night, my friend is dead. The money in his pockets is mine, he owed me. Please send me directions to whichever morgue/strip club for pick up.
i know you're upset so i should probs be supportive but i've got nothing in that department. your life suuuuucks
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Damn that brownie almost kicked my ass. I'm not sure if my flight home lasted 10 minutes or 10 days..
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
Remind me to do laundry tomorrow so i have something decent to take off when i get laid.
Randomize