no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
On an unrelated side note: I shall now attempt to crawl to the bathroom. Where I will lay motionless on the cold ceramic bathtub with hot water pouring over my shivering body as I desperately try not to vomit. Good day.
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
And I think your bro would be happy to know that when I took my bra off like 10lbs of confetti fell out. It was like my tits were celebrating being free
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
You thought they were asking for volunteers for a karaoke contest so you jumped up not realizing it was actually a "last 3 minutes boxing match". But you took that right hook like a champ.
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