wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
swears the blind dude on this train is faking. Every day he stumbles and falls into a different girl's lap and then has to grab her tits to steady himself.
I truly believe that the solid foundation of any healthy relationship is a drunken one night stand so I can just get all the nasty shit out on the table
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
Pagan metal show. There is a folk dance happening in the mosh pit. Also, I have no idea where we are.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I feel like we'd have a lot of fun being drunk at a dog show.
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
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