i was like. eff you dude i'm 100% american. i went to a high school prom and i like springstein songs and i take rides in chevrolets.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
no one could get around him on the stairs cause he surrounded himself with all the empties he could find, he said he was building a fort. then he passed out on them.
Yes but from my experience being high around your own baby makes you feel like the worst kind of mom
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Randomize
