drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
This question may sound intrusive, but how did pushing out a baby affect your vagina?
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
Someone signed my nipple.
Randomize
