He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
I'm 50% weirded out and 50% into it
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
My boob is missing a layer of skin
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
Randomize
