I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
Just walk up to him nice, spread your legs like smooth peanut butter on toast and scream "LOOK AT MY BEAVER! LOOK AT IT!!"
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Before I go in, is 'I just got a root canal 2 hours ago' a good excuse to show up drunk to yoga class with a 6 pack? Because if not I think I need to go home.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize
