someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
you know how i said i wouldn't send that pic message of your lofted bed falling from you fucking a fat chick? that was after i sent it to your mom
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
Randomize
