all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
Just slept with my boyfriend's roomie to learn if bf was cheating on me
Good plan. When in doubt, sleep about.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
