apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
If him repeating sorry while thrusting isn't makeup sex than I don't know what else is
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
Disclaimer- Don’t worry about my wounded nip. I put a bandaid on it.
Randomize