moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
you know you were way too high when you wake up next to a handwritten list of all the things you'd do for a Klondike bar
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
Judge me all you want, but while you are stuck at home eating Ramen and tap water, I will be dining with some guy who, although might be the same age as my father, is filthy rich.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
This guy at the airport was telling me 3/4 dudes in his group got rufied at some strip club. One guy woke up in the hospital, another found himself in a random parking garage, the other got back to the room and they all shit their pants. Go Vegas.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
alll i remember is comming back downstairs, his pants were off and he was aplauding me
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
