i feel like after you turn 30 you aren't supposed to black out anymore
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I fucked in the bathroom while everyone listened and banged my dick against a table shouting "order in the court"
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
Randomize
