He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
we're driving around with this really dirty (unclean and inappropriate) 60 year old ex-san quintin con named old skool d that my brother knows and hes bringing us to get weed. what is montana?
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
So this 40 year old woman was trying to bring me into the bathroom to blow me and the bartender called the cops on her because she was showing her tits. Only in asbury.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I just fell in love with a beard, the guy it's attached to isn't great but I think I'm going to take one for the team
I just turned down the best booty call of my life because I have to make a cheesecake. I guess this is growing up.
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