I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
