Why did I wake up this morning with 10 tally marks on my hand and a penis drawn on my tits?
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
There are about 5 pictures of my dog taking a dump on my camera and 20 of Brandon taking one for "comparison" reasons.
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
I'm not kidding, he literally jumped in the red panda exhibit. I knew this was gonna be a good birthday.
That married penis I’ve been riding offered to pay off my student loans. I was going to break it off because he has lousy stamina. Is being debt free worth putting up with mediocre sex?
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