My underwear smells like fireworks.
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
His penis is literally smaller than my cell phone. I can't go out like that.
We stuck the straw in the bourbon as a joke, you saw it as a challenge.
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
But today feels so special with katie getting herpes and me cleaning my room. Good things are happening.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
I'm really stoned in my underwear. I probably won't make it to the bar.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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