She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
have the fact that the early bird is danced upon by the prettiest strippers be your motivation
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I'm having flashbacks from last night. Did I admit to pausing Whitney's funeral because I was watching porn? I believe I did.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
He yelled "I'm Bruce Springsteen!" when he came. This is why I don't sleep with guys from Jersey.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
Randomize
