The pink midgets playing hockey is the EXACT reason cold meds and alcohol do not mix. Period.
I just called a phone sex line and you know what I did? I sat there and cried
im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
In chronological order you drank, sang, smoked, napped, threw up, cried, laughed, described your pubic area, passed out. You have abused the privilege to use me as your D.D.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Dude. My knees have no hair on them and they're bruised. My thigh is killing me. I have about 1000 texts to about 5 exes which I horribly regret. I have pictures of my own penis on my phone. I can't find my iPad. And I have work in an hour.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
Randomize
