Dude my mom stole all your condoms
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
Two girls down stairs, two girls up stairs and....
We've got ourselves a situation
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
Its 10:23 on a monday morning and im craving jello shots, this is a problem
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Her family was right next to mine during christmas eve mass. Between the terrifying glares and her trying to set my sleeve on fire during the candle part I am VERY sure she knows im fucking her ex...
It is a sign that I need a fresh start when Kelly Clarksons new album tells the story of my life.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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