There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Judging by what she did last night, I would say at least 4 of them have mono now.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
was his dick as big as our hopes and dreams?
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
besides i was ending his dry spell. it's written in the bible that jesus likes that right?
Just resonded to a booty call with "how much effort is required on my part?" I think I've finally reached the point of smoking too much pot
I just ironed my gstring.. this is please fuck my brains out on a whole new level.
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
We're the worst. Two people without their shit together do not make a functional adult.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
Randomize
