Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
Bad idea pregaming graduation.... she just threw up before walking across the stage... i'm gonna miss this
I lost count of how many people I peed on last night.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
This weekend i learned three things 1) skittles in vodka is good 2) it takes more than a roll of quarters to get a cab home 3) never tell a bartender to give you your change in actual change
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
your fridge is broken, your sock drawer is full of snow, and you flipped off the whole stadium on the big screen. I'd say it went well.
All I remember is sitting on your kitchen floor and playing with a banana like it was a viking ship.
I knew full well that at some point during the night my penis would be out with this costume choice
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
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