I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
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