Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I just had to give myself a pep talk to stop lying on my floor. Literally too hung over to function
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
So, I'm stoned at his house petting the neighbors cat I made him steal.
You're a fucking train wreck.
I dont know what we smoked last night but I woke up and found out I started writing a book called White Trash Princess. Its the best thing Ive ever read
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
I have feelings that need drinking.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
Randomize
