its not stalking. its research.
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
He screamed like a woman when he came then proceeded to sing "you [we] are the champion" by Queen. I think I'm in love.
Hey. You dropped and smashed your road beer in my store last night. Again. And this time you didn't even order anything. You just walked in, yelled "SWEDISH STYLE!" Then lost your beer, looked depressed, and left.
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
