Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
Some chick just tried to plug her vodka into the wall.
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
I haven't been that free with the boobs since I was 19. I'm putting them away for a while.
If you insist
The one guy literally flopped my boob out. Yes I insist.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
I love how encouraging you are, but I need you to stop me when the guy I'm going home with is a dead ringer for Nick Cage.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
Randomize
