he has a girlfriend so we used my stuffed animals to pretend to have sex
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
Dude Eric's high and buying everyone taquitos. How much room do we have in the freezer?
I inadvertently smoked 6 blunts at one time. We just kept passing them around...I didn't know what happened until it was over. I can't walk.
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
Yeah I mean subtle isn't how I'd describe your flirtation strategy last night
I think I just did my first walk of shame. He sent me home with a watermelon from his farm. Southern one night stands.
If you had amazing eyebrows i'd have sex with them.
We havent had power for three days. What else is there to do besides drink and fuck? I thought that was obvious.
What?? I could've slept with an ordained minister!
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
