we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
Bought asot tix too. After Saturday I'm gonna be reborn like Jesus and no drugs until edc
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
put something nutritious in your body. AND NOT JUST THAT JOINT.
I can't wash the smell of tacos off my hands. I feel like the Lady Macbeth of Chipotle.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
Uh oh we had sex and I don't think I like him anymore help
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
Randomize
