She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
at the hospital. the stripper fell on his face when she was trying to grab the dollar bill out of his mouth with her ass. broken nose for sure.
"I wasn't planning on buying a chicken, but I bought it anyway." --some guy on the bus with a chicken
"Yeah, I only have nine toes." --that same guy
Then that is decided. Fuck away my little bunny rabbit.
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
I shaved my balls for you. Do you have any idea how hard that is?
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I spent half my night explaining that i'm in an open relationship to the guys that I liked, and the other half of the night explaining that I have a boyfriend to the guys that I didn't like.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
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