He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
He made off the wall shots in beer pong, stuck the girls dog in a cooler, and played with swords with her mom. I wish I got his name
God that barista is texting me bout his life like i care i mean dude just hook me up with free coffee thats why i gave you my number
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
Yeah I don't remember why I went to the hospital though but I just called and they have my wallet
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
Also I just took a shit at a bar so always remember that ANYTHING is possible.
He was having this drunk emotional breakdown and I was just trying to cheer him up but instead fell and dumped the whole pickle jar on me
It was cool though because he was fine afterwards and somehow I convinced them I did it on purpose...
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
