Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
I'm eating a subway sandwich in the bathtub because I don't want to move. God bless boys from Brooklyn
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Two of the boys I banged while living in that house are about to move into it hahhaaha
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Randomize
