He dyes his hair, fake tans and lies constantly. What did you really expect from him?
A better fuck for starters.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
Im embracing the luau theme and maybe bringing a kiddie pool filled with alcohol. Im also embracing the high probability I will not remember this night.
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
IF I CAN STICK YOUR DICK IN MY MOUTH, I CAN STICK MY GUM ON YOUR NIGHTSTAND.
I woke up in a hospital at three in the morning only to realize my pee is now going to be orange. I've grown to realize I've made all the right decisions
Living room floor. I asked him to give me a back rub. He did. And smoothly transitioned that to foreplay, then basically threw me on the floor. My vagina hurts. He deserves another Christmas present.
I was looking threw the photos on my phone. There is 8 different ones of us peeing on things.
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
I've fucked him twice and literally had no idea that he's missing a thumb
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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