Oh KT! There was no tea in those Long Islands...
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
I may only be a second year med student but I feel very confident in calling that a micropenis.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
Two months ago an unknown man was in my bed and now he is my boyfriend and he has 1.6 million in the bank and he buys me things because I only have $4.35 in my bank account
It could happen to you too!
My CPA just snapchatted me a picture of her playing beer pong at a picnic. Time to do my own taxes?
and everyone will high five me and girls will approach me offering blowjobs
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
Randomize
