it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Just finished two pages in like 20-30 mins bitches SHWAMP DRUNK LIBRARY SHWAMP
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
