And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Diet Starts Tomorrow! Guy from McDonalds asked if I got a new car...
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
I asked Tony because I knew he wouldn't give me a lecture about consequences
???? Tony IS a lecture about consequences
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
