well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
yeah, he just sent me a picture of himself with his shirt off.... It didnt turn me on, it just made me want to buy him a big mac....
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Taking shots of gin by myself out of TMNT glasses and chasing with bites of chocolate cake. AMERICA.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Randomize
