Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Dude. I tried to convince her to eat poprocks and give me a blowjob. It did not work out well.
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
This could be one of the worst things i've done... The background of her phone is her and her boyfriend.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
Whoever labeled dysfunctional a bad thing obviously never saw this frinedship coming.
Btw any and all sexual fantasies or arousal I had about cops is null and void.
We should just do therapy together, clearly we have all the same issues. It's why we are friends.
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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