i don't like sucking hair
id be glad to
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
There is blood on my sheets, we apparently used 8 towels, everything in my shower is knocked down. Wut?
well at least you didn't have your nipples chewed last night
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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