when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
i gave him head before the novacaine wore off...i think his penis touched my lung
know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I don't want anything to do with the Darth Vader stripper babe. I'm just trying to make dreams come true.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I'm batshit crazy. I don't know how you guys keep forgetting that
I'm drunk doing an ab workout. I can only hope I make it to bed tonight.
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
Have you ever thought, hey maybe the reason we were togather that long was because I was drunk the whole relationship?
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
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