:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
She was either really drunk or really not interested. Everytime I tried to ask her about herself she would respond with a line from Stepbrothers.
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Last I remember we played rock paper scissors for who would fuck the guy with cowboy boots on and I won..
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
wtf why is there glitter all over my dog
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
Did you at least know who's jizz it was?
That is questionable.
Randomize
