I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
I've slowly been stuffing french fries down his pants. I'm at 31 and he hasn't even noticed.
I actually didn't mind her sub-par blowjob skills.. It took me back to a time when skipping class was noticed, and my liver didn't look like a worn out shoe
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
The strip clubs here are like a safari of penis, and I'm gonna bag me a rhino.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
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