We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
She started crying and told me to leave half way through, I'm walking down main with a bottle of patron and a sweatpants boner.
this better not be you asking for a beej
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
That is cause you are some weird type of mutant that lives off of Alcohol.
My goal in life is to ruin sex for someone. To be so mindblowingly unreal that they can never find anyone like me ever again. So far it's going well.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
Turns out tits aren't quite as effective an enticement when they know for a fact that they can't touch.
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