I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I am officially now FB friends with my arresting officer.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
I feel like I should remember what we did after leaving the party because apparently a llama was involved, but all I can manage is the part where I asked you to cuff my ankle to the bed so I wouldn't backflip away.
Well, while we went through airport security, I found out Mom got her clit pierced, so there's that.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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