whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
Sitting in class thinking wow im glad im not hungover...and then i realized im still drunk.
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
I legitimately woke up with a girl trying to snort cocaine off my dick.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
"it's Wednesday" isn't a good enough excuse to take my debit card and use it for your own drunken needs. You owe me 250 bro
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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