it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
i dont know whats so great about being respectable.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I came home ate all of my roomates poptarts and then vommited on her duvet cover. I don't think today is the day to suggest the whole "sex instead of rent money" idea
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Walk of shame: Easter Edition. He is risen.
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
He was the perfect gentleman on our first date. Took me out for candlelit dinner at a fancy restaurant, held open the door, walked me home, and made me cum three times before he got his.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
So a bottle of lube exploded all over my softball bag and Nike shirt.
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