nothing as in nothinggggg kills the mood for me is when a girl with 4 cm nipple hair
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
The last thing I remember is pushing my way into the bathroom and dumping a 40 on him. We havent talked since.
He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.
Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.
that freshman chick we always see on the weekends walked into art class wearing a jaegermeister shirt and holding a monster, which she proceeded to shotgun with a pair of scissors. It sickens me to know I will never achieve her level
i think she just faxed a picture of her vag from the office copy machine... i mean what kind of sexting is that... wait is that even legal???
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
Never underestimate the power of loudly proclaiming you want to make out with someone
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
Randomize
