Drunk x Brooklyn = problems getting home. If I don't make it you can have my computer and my bitches. You're welcome.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
After all the hair products he's stolen from me, he better fucking be gay.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
I'm sitting next to the guy that peed in our drying machine
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
He fucked me so hard my contacts fell out! Didnt know that was possible.
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