i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
my ultimate dream in life is to have sperm so powerful that it will rival that of jim bob duggar.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
If a young child walked up to you and grabbed your penis, you'd feel violated too.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
My entire news feed is ice bucket challenges. I wish there was a hide from feed button like FarmVille
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
It's the kind of dick you travel across the country for
This is my second month of college and all I've learned is how to get a guy to go down on me without asking out loud and not to chase everclear with Smirnoff ice.
Essential life skills
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
