I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
I just got cash back from buying a pregnancy test so that I can buy a case of joose. My life is in shambles.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He said he loved me so I pretended not to hear it because I don't think "I love your penis" was the response he was looking for.
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
Somehow I just turned an entire McDonald's bag upside down in my car and not a single fry fell out. The Lord really does work in mysterious ways.
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
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