Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Today the house voted to defund Planned Parenthood but to continue funding NASCAR. I fucking hate everything.
he needs to stop knowing everyone on campus...it's making cheating on him really difficult.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
I have reached the point in my life where I realized this is what I'm going to do for the rest of my life. Eat, shit , bar, drink, drank, drunk.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
Before he gave me the breathelizer, he told me to "blow like you're blowing your boyfriend". I like him. My tax dollars are well spent
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
Randomize
