She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
He's upstairs shouting 'FUCK OFF I'M IN MY MOTHERFUCKING ZEN ZONE' out of the window.
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
I peed in Andys sink the other day bc I didnt want him to hear me pee
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
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