well,he told me "i bet you five bucks that i can right cum on the mirror with my cum" i said alright do it, lets just say he's five bucks richer...
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
terrible decisions. terrible terrible terrible decisions.
who'd you have sex with.
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Tried to dodge fire in poncho. Fell through fence. Blood everywhere.
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Thanks for being my pregnancy scare Sherpa...
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize
