There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I think I just fucked my first person born during the Clinton administration
He just texted me from the outside of the hospital. He called the fat broad in the bar mrs snuffleupagus about 60 times and she broke a bottle of blackberry brandy over his head.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
All those movies are bullshit, there is no way to run down a line of parked cars, they`re too far apart. my faces hurts so much right now
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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