I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
i carry sandwiches in my pockets more than any normal person should
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Yeah, this is not that. This is a father and son bonding moment involving my all of my orifices.
Nothing will stop me from making the title of my paper "The Great Political Cock Block." Absolutely nothing.
dude im trying to eat his ass so can you stop for 10 minutes
Randomize
