Omg alex and i were cooking weiners on a campfire and a bear came and i am waayyy too high for this
tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
i had them turn on teen mom at the bar so i wouldnt be tempted to go home and make babies with the guy next to me
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
my nose is crying tears of wow.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
We could have fun in a cardboard box. Think of the damage we could do at an amusement park!
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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