this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Would the plural word for douche be deese? "Look at these deese bags"?
Are you high?
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I've watched enough of my roommate's imported Japanese satellite to know when the exchange students are calling me a whore.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
He purred while eating me out. HE PURRED AND I LIKED IT.
I feel like im becoming the girl who only drunk texts him. I would be in the dog house, if situations like this had dog houses.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
Do you remember trying to sleep under the pool table while wearing a reflective vest?
Nope.
You kept saying you had to be safe.
I thought he was hot. You know, in a “I’ve gone batshit insane and want blood for the blood god” sort of way.
Randomize
