CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Stripper pole. Sore legs. More vaca money.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
We were in bed, and he looked at me and asked if I'd be weirded out if he took his leg off. BEST.SEX.EVER.
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
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