OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
then she said "on the count of three I think we should apologize to eachother"
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I love the smell of your bedroom. It smells of a mixture of cherries, leather, and unrequited homosexual desire.
Just renamed the subject of my sex list on my phone "grocery list" just in case anyone comes across it
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
My boob job is like a master key that gets me in any door, any party and anyone’s pants! They’re magical!
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