chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Judging by his bulge. This guy is going home with me. Who doesn't want a dick that looks like it used to be a pillar in Rome.
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
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