Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
Cleveland boys shit in their own pumpkins in their own living room. Got pictures to prove it.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I feel like a squirrel prepping for the winter on dollar beer nights.
i lost his rear view mirror, your phone charger, and my lesbian virginity. 21 isn't shaping up too well so far.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
We were so hungover we fell asleep in Goodyear waiting for them to fix her car. At 4 in the afternoon on a Sunday. The workers apparently didnt want to vacuum because they didn't want to wake us.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
i just woke with half a bagel saran wrapped to my phone and a cookie in an envelope beside my head...
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
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