Apparently you make a good broom.
Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
Hey guys. This is Daniel texting on mayas phone. if she called you and told you that i made her have sex with me in my doghouse with my dog present that wasn't true.... so dont spread that.
FYI: Do not ever call any girl a thundercunt as a form of dirty talk.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
Randomize