i just used the Cadillac of toilet papers. For a minute i actually forgot i was even wiping my ass....i thought i was floating butt first into heaven
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
When boys buy condoms it makes me feel proud of their mothers for doing a good job
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I know he’s a bad decision but he's casual, his penis is amazing and his technique is on point.
I danced shirtless on a platform with a fucking stripper who went to MIT
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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