I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
Then you can skip the embarrassing can I date your ex since you're a lesbian now conversation
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
As I was balls deep, she moaned "i can't wait to see what how hot our daughter will be". Instant de-boner
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
please don't ironically join a cult
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