It's amazing how much jurassic park has contributed to my life recently
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I'm over here trying to figure out how to get shake shack delivered to my bed and Jamie is having a child
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
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