You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
Please tell me its not ok to love a 17 year old....no matter how hot he is and how sexy his eyebrow ring is oh lord
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
The shit I just took made me regret every life decision leading up to it.
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
You need to be on (or possibly create) the international emoji committee to address all of these glaring oversights
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
Randomize
