Yet again my drunken self has managed to find his way into the middle of nowhere with no shoes or recollection of what happened last night.
Then I guess you don't remember me driving you there after you tried making out with my girlfriend, dipshit.
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
Dude..TWLOHA day. gonna write LOVE on my arms before going to the bar tonight. its like a pussy guarantee.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
About to trim my pubes so if you decide to walk in, viewer discretion is advised.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
Randomize