just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
you know i think I know why you are single...because you are real cute but then you open your mouth and let words come out and all goes to hell.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
After last night's events, I googled "how to change your life direction." I found a really helpful ehow.com article.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
