She tried to have sex with him but he quote unquote respected her
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
The higher i get, the less gay he looks, and the more i want to make out with him. This is dangerous.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
She was trying to fuck the exchange student from France. His English is really bad and the music was loud so she just pointed to a beer bottle and then her vagina.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
You would seriously think I would remember who put themselves in my phone as Burt Rynalds Moustache, but I don't. And I need to be reminded of who you are so I can give you a proper high five.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Randomize
