Where did you get a picture of my penis
Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
It feels like Jesus smacked me in the face with the new testament for drinking so much last night
Like what kind of adult things? Whats more adult than drinking at 2pm on a monday?
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
Justin has passed out on the toilet in a locked stall. Stay tuned for pics.
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