i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
In an unknown location. With a giant marshmallow stuck to my back. Hello breakfast.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
Ummm so does anybody remember me stopping to get my ear peirced last night and make an earring out of a staple? Or did I just somehow lay on this thing and ram it through my ear?
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
Drinking wine from a straw at 6:15 in the morning. This is what college does to people.
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
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