He is such a gentleman, he paid for my plan b
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
His dick was as big as my arm. Giving him a handjob was like giving someone an Indian sunburn.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Curse you and your alcoholic milkshakes.
You're welcome.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Dinner at my parents is vodka, lemonade, cheese ad crackers. Why would I leave?
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
Randomize